shoes

i have bad luck with shoes. i always pick the kind that aren't particularly durable or reliable. i try to. but it doesn't work. i'm just not sure what to do anymore. i try to be ok with them maybe not wanting to be the most special pair of shoes, but its not ok. its definitely not ok. and i don't think i should have to change the way i feel just to make sure everyone else, i mean, all the other shoes in a given situation are comfortable. i feel like, for once, i should be able to call the shots and do what i want. say "i want these shoes and these are the shoes i will get." but i always have to think about it as "not being up to me."
but why isn't it up to me? it should be up to me. it should be my decision. not the shoes. its the shoes that made me want them in the first place, being all cool and comfy and such.
what to do. what to do.

radon

pictures of radon hanging out. for some reason he looks sleepy all the time.